E: how do you get a sign and a tree out of a tree that's not metal, it's glass?
me: (verifying that I understand the question) how do you get a glass sign out of a tree?
E: yah. but no. it's not glass it's metal
me: it's metal?
E: yah. with glass around the edges
me: so, how do you get a metal and glass sign out of a tree?
me: um..shake it out?
me: you climb up and get it?
me: I don't know. I give up.
E: you climb up in the tree and get it down.
E: Why did all the fish in the world that aren't whales or sharks or jellyfish or anything that eat other fish cross the road?
E: because they couldn't eat anything so they died.
and one by Gideon (which is what prompted the previous one by Evy):
Why did the starfish cross the road without looking both ways?
me: because he couldn't turn his head?
me: because there weren't any cars coming?
G: because he was at a crosswalk and the light turned green.
sometimes i laugh really hard at my kids jokes just because they are so *not* funny